Red Sox Nation Begins Mourning

Following yet another stunning loss last night to the Yankees and their 1,000 year old relief pitcher, Mariano Rivera, the city of Boston has begun its annual transition to supporting Patriot football due to the cold-shower bracing knowledge of yet another year in second place behind the 27 time baseball world champion New York club. This appears not to be a crisis for Boston residents as losing to the Yankees is a familiar annual event. Even notable loser, Senator John Kerry, has acknowledged this position when he says "Beating the Yankees is like trying to beat IBM or George Bush, it's just too damn hard!" Interviewed at his hairdresser, Sen. Kerry went on to say "Beating the Yankees is a taxing problem and perhaps if the Red Sox play next season in Newport RI, the seasonal result might improve."

The New York Post has already begun to wonder out loud whether or not Red Sox fans will continue to go to empty Fenway Park when the team plays next year in Newport in order to sustain one of the few proud records of the Red Sox.